You will likely enjoy Rebel Moon Part 2: The Scargiver if you enjoy slow-motion scenes of space villagers and muscular, shirtless space warriors picking wheat with endless scythes. Rebel Moon Part 1: A Child of Fire is a space opera written by Zack Snyder, but for some reason, the second part is even more dull and unimaginative than the first.
Other than the few short moments starring Anthony Hopkins as Jimmy the Robot—possibly his most bizarre portrayal to date—there isn’t much to recommend this one. In addition to being one of the best actors of our time, Jimmy is also a really cool robot that has some awesome moments in The Scargiver. Beyond that? This is not a good movie; it’s ridiculous.
There are Spoilers Below.
The Magnificent Seven/Seven Samurai plot, which is concluded in Part 2, was introduced in the previous film. A large spaceship, manned by Space Nazis, arrives at a small, backwater Viking settlement on a small moon in the middle of nowhere and demands grain from the villagers. After defeating a few of the soldiers, the enigmatic Kora (Sofia Boutella) determines that they must rally a squad of heroes to face the massive imperial army. Along with local farmer Gunnar (Michiel Huisman), she sets off to accomplish just that, and they return with four heroes who help to save the day.
After defeating the evil Admiral N0ble (Ed Skrein), they return to the hamlet and are constantly offered food they never eat. They tell everyone that the threat has passed, but they are informed that the bad men will actually be here in five days. Admiral Noble could only have been marginally deceased!
Titus (Djimon Hounsou) rallies the villagers with only five days remaining, and our heroes assist them in gathering up all the grain. The heroes then assist in training the peasants to become special operations forces. That leaves two days for target practice and three days for farming.
Nevertheless, the enemy possesses a Dreadnought spacecraft that can destroy entire cities along with hundreds or even thousands of Stormtroopers and dozens of other smaller spacecraft. That will be difficult for a group of villagers who have never engaged in combat and five skilled warriors to vanquish!
It really is going to be quite simple. Hardly a hindrance! (Many thanks to Ryan George; I will continue to use this until Hollywood stops this absurdity).
You see, Titus’s tactical brilliance allowed for the training of these morally upright, down-to-earth villagers to be so excellent that, in just 48 hours, they outperformed the imperial Space Nazis. The fact that Tarak (Staz Nair) is armed with a six-pack and two hatchets further suggests that the good people will prevail!
There is a great deal of fighting that follows. Lots of motionless time. Almost too much to bear. The ludicrous amount of repetitive action sequences that followed, broken only sparingly by anything somewhat innovative (again, Jimmy, who probably could have defeated the entire bad guy battalion on his own), left me vacillating between nodding off and burst out laughing. I nearly wished they would just resume their leisurely pace of wheat harvesting.
Thanks in large part to plot armor, the good folks win and suffer few, if any, losses. Only Nemesis (Bae Doona), who is despondent, gets moved off this mortal coil. And Gunnar, because he dared to be romantic.
Almost all of the main characters give us a flashback or exposition dump prior to the combat. When Regent Balisarius (Fra Fee) staged a revolution against the royal family and then falsely accused Kora of carrying out the killings, we learn about her background and how she assisted in the princess’s assassination. We learn about everyone’s terrible, melodramatic past through narration and flashbacks. Except for Gunnar and Kora, almost little interaction occurs between the characters. Even then, it’s just exposition and corny platitudes.
This isn’t how a movie gets made. I apologize, but for someone who has directed as many movies as Zack Snyder, it just seems incredibly incompetent.
I will agree that, for the most part, the actors give the stilted lines they are given their best effort. Skrein is enjoying his role as a cartoon antagonist. Also entertaining was Princess Peach’s cameo.
(Really, have a peek at that princess! Just as in Super Mario Bros.
Rebel Moon Part 2 is so ridiculous, cheesy, and unbelievable that it makes Zack Snyder’s first ridiculous space opera film seem positively brilliant in contrast. I mean, that’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.
Instead of Snyder’s constant overuse of exposition, Rebel Moon would have functioned better as a series, with more time to devote to developing the connections between each character. This wannabee Seven Samurai crap is significantly less compelling than Kora’s narrative of running from her former adoptive father for an assassination she wasn’t (only) involved for.
We seem to be switching from Star Wars and Seven Samurai to Star Wars and Super Mario Bros. for the third film, assuming there is one. It looks like it will be some sort of “find the lost princess” film. That might work! I’ve always wanted to watch a slow-motion Super Star.
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